My Past
by Thirst4M0re
Summary: Bel goes along with the story that he was the one who killed his brother, but he doesn't remember what really happened. What will he do now that the past comes back to haunt him?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters**

**Warning: Hints of Yaoi/boyxboy. **

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Chapter 1

"Bel! look at the pretty rainbow!" said a cheerful voice next to him.

Bel looked up. The rainbow was beautiful, nearly as perfect as the ones in fairy tales. It curved gently and seemed to go around the whole Earth.

"Ushishishi! I wonder if there is gold at the end, like in the stories," he said smiling at the rainbow.

"I bet it does!," the voice next to him giggled.

Bel turned to face the boy next to him, about to say something, but where the boy's face was supposed to be, there was nothing at all. It was blank, no eyes, no nose, no lips, as if he was an unfinished painting. Bel's heart thumped in his chest, and his voice caught in his throat.

"W-who are you," he asked, and suddenly the paradise around them melted. The beautiful rainbow caught fire and slowly drowned into the ground.

The faceless boy's voice, which was once cheerful now sounded hollow and sad. The mesmerizing voice echoed in Bel's ear as he disappeared along with the paradise.

_"Did you really forget about me Bel..?"_

_~i~i~i~i~_

"Bel! Senpai! Wake up already, we're going to be late," Fran sat on on Bel's stomach, shaking him awake.

Bel opened his eyes in time to see Fran reaching to brush his bangs away from his face, and he kicked him off the bed. Fran landed with a thud.

"I'm awake," Bel said grumpily. _What was that dream about?.. That was the 4th weird dream this week._

"Senpai, I said we're going to be late. Are you even listening? Get up!" Fran pulled Bel up into sitting position and stuffed the prince's crown onto his messy morning blonde hair. Then Fran proceeded to pull Bel out of bed.

"Fran," the deepness of Bel's morning voice combined with seriousness, made Fran freeze. Bel was hardly ever serious, it scared Fran to think his senpai _could _be serious and plus the add depth in his voice was sexy too. Kind of. Not that he would never admit it. "Fran, can you-" RING RING RING. Bel picked up the phone.

"**VVVVVVVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIII YOU GUYS ARE LATE!**," the voice on the other end of the line screamed at them. Bel looked at the phone annoyed, and slammed it back onto its perch.

"_Tsk_, Let's go, Fran."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Senpai, what were you going to ask me this morning?" Fran's voice was was flat as usual, but he blushed remembering Bel's voice from that morning. He faced the floor walking briskly, not wanting Bel to see his reddening face.

"Bel-senpai?" receiving no response from his senpai, Fran turned around. Bel stood planted to the ground a few steps back. Worried, Fran walked back and took Bel's hand in his. "Senpai are you alright?"

Bel's face was turned toward the ground, and his whole body trembled slightly. The warmth from Fran's hand seeped into Bel's and he grabbed it tightly. "I..I can't remember," Bel said, two teardrops glided down his cheek and fell, disappearing onto the cement. "I can't remember my past. There was something important that I forgot, something, that missing, makes me feel incomplete..." _It's haunting me and tearing me apart from the inside_, a small voice in him screamed.

Bel took a deep breath, tears freely flowed down his face as he continued, "I tried. I tried so hard to pretend everything was alright, that I really did kill my brother like everyone said, but.. I don't remember that at all. I'm so pathetic, how can not even remember if I killed my own brother?..." _and that boy, who was that?_ Trying to hold back a cry of frustration, Bel sucked in a lung full of air, and slowly let it out. The cold air around him froze his breath and it hung in the air for a moment longer.

_"Bel, look don't I look like a dragon?" The boy in front of Bel turned around exhaling, the frozen breath masking his face._ Bel closed his eyes, trying to ignore the voice.

Fran pulled the trembling prince into warm hug. Bel leaned into it, wrapping his own arms around Fran. At any other time Bel would've stuck knives into the frog, but at the moment, it felt nice to have somebody to lean on, and someone to trust. "Senpai," Fran stroked his back soothingly,"I might be able to help you remember."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Fran stood in front of the table mixing many different herbs and ingredients together. "Bel-senpai, do you not remember anything about your brother?"

_Tsk, blunt as usua_l, Bel thought, but he hated people who didn't get to the point anyways. "No, I remember him, I know who he is. I don't remember him ever being around me, no fights, nothing." _No hatred either._

"Hm," Fran handed Bel the completed potion, "Drink, and lie down."

~i~~i~

Bel closed his eyes, he felt his surroundings disappear, and then a familiar scene revealed itself. At first it was somewhat foggy, he felt as though he was looking at the scene through a veil of mist. But the smoky haze burned away as he recognized his brother's room.

~Ahh.. Siel's room...~ Bel stood looking at his surroundings in the familiar room, he blushed as he saw a younger version of himself kissing his brother on the bed. _HIM_ kissing his brother? No way. Didn't they hate each other? Questions swirled in his mind, but despite everything he couldn't ignore the tad of jealousy that rose in his chest watching the two kiss..for a moment he wished _he_ was the one kissing his brother.

Bel shook his head _what was he thinking! Concentrate._

Fran's voice sounded in Bel's mind, "_Senpai, only observe be careful not to be dragged into the memory...You'll be stuck in there if you are._._"_

Bel sighed and watched as the two kissed. Siel was on top of the younger him, leaning into him, and kissing him passionately. He could see the young Bel was enjoying it, his face was a light pink and he had his eyes closed. The two boys' hands were intertwined together. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Bel thought that Fran might've made a mistake and this was not his memory, but it did have a sense of familiarity to it.

A knock at the door interrupted the silence in the room and the young twins' kiss. Siel suddenly stood up, and the younger Bel fixed his hair.

"Come in," Siel said, giving his crown one last adjustment.

"Prince Rasiel. The king and queen wish to speak to you," an old wrinkly maid said, bowing to a teenage Siel.

"_Tsk_, tell them I am busy," he waved the maid away.

_Ahh.. This.. I have a feeling this happened.._ But he couldn't remember what exactly. It did confirm that the scene was indeed his memory though.

"Prince Siel it's _very_ important," the maid said nervously rubbing her hands together.

"Well, I'm _really_ busy," replied Siel in an annoyed voice. He pointedly walked over to Bel and kissed him on the lips so the maid would leave. But she stood there firmly.

Siel deepened the kiss, he could feel his brother's tongue trying to fight his off, but he won, he always did. He explored Bel's mouth, expertly twirling around the tongue and sucking gently on his lips causing his twin to moan. Surely the maid could see that he _was_ indeed busy now.

His eyes caught a glimpse of the maid without breaking the passionate kiss. She did not move, not even an inch. Siel sighed inwardly, and slowly broke apart from Bel. He stood up and Bel's lips formed a pout, begging for just a bit more.

Siel looked at his brother's pouted lips and ruffled his hair. "I'll be back," he whispered, and left the room with the maid.

~i~~i~

The older Bel watched his brother's back as he left. His chest clenched achingly, he felt an ominous shadow cross over his heart, something was terribly wrong.

~i~~i~

Siel followed the maid along the great hallways, lined with red carpet, gold paint, and high ceilings. Behind them a young Bel crept, smushed against the walls and jumping behind potted plants like a ninja. Following young Bel was the older one, openly walking in the hallway, not that anyone could see him anyways.

The maid walked until they reached a great big dining hall, she and Siel entered, and the double doors slammed behind them.

Both Bels pressed their ears to the closed doors of the room, one on each side. The room was quiet allowing, Bel to hear everything that was said.

"Rasiel, you are to inherit the throne," he heard his father say.

"Rasiel, you and Belphegor are both phenomenal at everything you two do. But you surpass your brother in everything. The throne _will_ be yours." his mother added.

"Father, mother, I've told you, I don't _want_ to be a king. I don't want to be trapped in the castle, I want to see the world," Siel said.

"**DON'T BE FOOLISH**," the kings voice boomed. A loud crash sounded in the room. "**YOU** were born into the royal bloodline, what you **WANT** doesn't matter. Your country _will_ come first." He stated the last sentence sharply.

The door the older Bel leaned on was forcefully opened, knocking him into the younger Bel. Rasiel stepped out of the room, his left cheek red and his lip bleeding. He glanced at Bel, for a moment hatred and jealousy crossed his eyes, then he ran off.

"**RASIEL, COME BACK HERE. WE ARE NOT DONE TALKIN_G_**," the Queen's voice echoed after Siel.


	4. Chapter 4

_Siel.._ Bel ran after his brother, he looked back to see if the younger him was also following, but the young Bel was already gone.

Bel found his brother sitting on a bench in a secluded part of the garden. He was facing the floor, his hair covering most of his face, and his body trembling slightly. Bel's heart pounded as he watched Siel bring his arm up to wipe away his tears. Bel ducked behind a tall rose bush, he knew that Siel would not be able to see him but he could not stand to watch him cry. Royalty could not cry in front of others, it was a rule Bel learned when he was young, they had to remain strong for the people. This was the first time he had ever seen his brother break down. His hands clenched listening to his brother cry.

He understood. He knew they could never live freely and could never make their own decisions. They had always known, they would never have freedom, they could never leave the palace as they wished, and they would never get to choose the person they love, their whole lives were arranged by others. Anger and frustration rose inside Bel, in the end they were ruled by the people, not the other way around. They lived to meet their expectations, they lived to serve as a puppet, to keep the people united, they lived to make them happy, and in exchange they were kept in a prison where they could not have freedom nor privacy.

* * *

"Rasiel-sama, where are you?" In the short amount of time that they ran off, servants have already started to search for the prince.

"Rasiel-sama?!"

Bel caught his hand on a thorn startled by the voice.

"_tch_," he watched as blood dripped off his wound. Then he realized that it couldn't be _possible_ that he got hurt in this place, these were only memories. _"Fran. Fran what's happening?"_

…

No answer.

Bel reached for a rose, _it's not possible, I'm not physically here.._ -snap-

"Who's there?" Rasiel's voice held a slight quiver.

_Crap what am I going to do?_ Siel's footsteps came closer.

Bel wanted to run, and he started to turn away, but he then he heard himself speak.

"Nii-sama, it's only me. I was looking for you." Something made him walked toward Siel, stopping only when he was right in front of him. _What's happening.. My body's not listening to me_

"Oh it's you Bel," his elder brother said smiling slightly. Bel watched his face for that hint of hatred, but it was gone. Siel looked at Bel's bleeding hand and took it in his. "Are you okay Bel?"

Bel blushed. _He's supposed to hate me and he's not even supposed to see me, why is he being so nice?_

Bel felt himself pull his brother into a hug. "Nii-sama.. this is nothing.. but you..."

"I'm fine, it's just a small fight with mother and father."

_Sure..._ Bel thought _Your sleeves are wet from the tears.. and you were so mad... you opened that door with so much force I crashed into-. that's it..._ he frowned _I crashed into my form here. Maybe I can get out somehow... Before I'm stuck here forever.._

Another set of thoughts floated into Bel's mind, parallel to his own. _Nii-sama.. why doesn't mother and father understand.. Have they never felt trapped in here?.. Only if I could take nii-sama's place.. then he might get an opportunity to leave.. But.. could I live here without him?_ Bel felt a wash of emotion flow over him and hugged his brother harder.

* * *

Rasiel heard a soft knock at his door and went to open it. Bel stood outside like he did every night. Rasiel smiled, Bel was always so cute.

"Come in."

~!~

Rasiel looked at his younger brother snuggled so close to him and he was torn in two. He loved his brother.. he was the only thing that Siel treasured and the only person who could even come close to understanding him.. but there was a nagging jealously that kept tugging at his heart... Only if..only if he could trade places with Bel... then he wouldn't be chained to the palace.. He would have a little more freedom.. and maybe an opportunity to go out of the palace.. but how could he leave his brother the same fate he so much dreaded?.. Siel pushed the thought out of his mind and focused on the soft pitter patter of the rain outside. _Tonight.. it will have to be tonight.._

~!~

Bel listened to the soft rhythm of the rain, it was almost the same as Siel's heartbeat and lulled him gently into sleep. He had tried to stay awake, but as the younger Bel started to fade into sleep he dragged Bel into the darkness with him.

* * *

Siel watched his brother until he was sure he was asleep, then he placed a kiss on his head. Inching away, he reached for a cell phone taped under the bedside table. _Scwack _the phone came off with a loud sound, and Siel watched as Bel turned in his sleep. Bright light shone into the room as he typed in a code word, "NON", and hit the send button. There was no going back now.

Siel gave one last kiss to Bel _Sorry Bel.. I wish I could spend more time with you.._ He reached under the bed and grabbed a small backpack he prepared for this occasion many months before. _They will search for me..But as long as they don't find my body, Bel will not_ _have to become king.._ He reassured himself, and turned away.

"Nii-sama? Where are you going?" Siel stiffened at his younger brother's voice. He should've known that Bel was a light sleeper. Bel rubbed his eyes. He looked at the clock, "It's only 2.." Then he saw the backpack and grim face Siel had on.

Bel's eyes widened. "Don't go." He sat up, as panic rose in him.

He hugged his brother from behind, tears pooled in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks.

"Nii-sama..please.."

Siel stood frozen, how could he leave him now?

"Nii-sama.."

Siel looked up at the ceiling and sighed. He ruffled Bel's hair and returned his hug. The plan was already in action, and he was behind schedule. He made a quick decision.

"Will you come with me Bel?"


End file.
